What shit. What bally shit. Not only do I never get to see love, I also never get to complain that I don't have it, or feel angry about it. No, I have to be peaceful, happy, calm, unassuming, undesiring, non-cynical, AND magically serene. Yup, that's all that's expected of me. Oh, also. I should not change my view of the world as being sucky. No, the world is beautiful, life is miraculous, things fall right into place for people, and everyone lives happily ever after. Thats the truth and this is a fucking fairy tale. Oh wait, I'm also never supposed to look or feel sad. Nope. Its all happy, happy, happy, all the time.
Well guess what, I can't do that. I feel sad and I feel bad and I definitely fucking feel angry. And I want to slap people and I should be allowed to feel this way. Im not hurting or harming anyone am I? I mean, there's a guy who apparently likes me, doesn't have the balls to do anything about it, even though he knows I want him to, but somehow this is my fault. Whats wrong with this picture? A lot, I think.
And anyone who says they understand what I feel? Yeah, you're lying. Its not your fault. You want to understand but you can't. And thats just a fact. So leave it at that. That doesnt mean you shouldn't be nice, you must. But don't for a minute, presume that this is something you "get".
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