Epipheny

I think its called an epipheny... a sudden burst of insight that brings clarity and understanding. I had one a few days ago. I tried to ignore it assuming it was just a temporary flicker of understanding. But it wasn't. It actually lasted. And its making more and more sense.

Literally, up until a month ago, I used to spend a lot of time analyzing and wondering about things -- past, present, and future. I would think about the possibilities or the lack thereof and accordingly feel good or bad. And then when things wouldn't go as I imagined them to, I'd get bummed. I bum easy and when I had built up things in my head, they more often than not, didn't happen, and then I would feel terrible.

However, things have changed yet again. Recently I made a big decision just on a whim. Or rather just because I had decided that enough was enough. Changes were going to happen and I would make them. I have no idea whether its the right decision or not and theres no way to find out. This is when I realized that wondering about it is unhelpful. It came naturally to me to take each moment as it came and eventually figure out whether the choice I made was the correct one. Let me tell you, not thinking about even the next moment is highly effective. Because then, you have no expectations...and as I've come to see...having no expectations from anything or anyone(though easier said than done) is truly the best way to go.

And so...I'm here...doing my thing...taking each day as it comes...not filling up my mind with unnecessary 'what ifs' and 'but ifs'. It works.